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GANDALF REWRITES HER LIFE

Megatron,

Oh, where to begin, my dear friend. There are so many exciting things going on in our lives right now, you with The Plastic Divide, me with Antithesis. Who knew that we would come so far in such a short amount of time? It feels like only mere weeks ago we were drowning in our own uncertainty. (Maybe that was just me who was drowning. I have the distinct impression that Megatron is a badass and doesn’t get held back by things like drowning.)

I’m still playing the waiting game. I’m trying to be ever so patient, but it’s hard for me. I spend far too much time alone to not think about it. I mean, it’s not everyday you submit your first manuscript to a publisher. These are exciting times! Sadly I’m on call this weekend, which  means hours and hours of sitting around waiting for the hospital to need me. It also means hours and hours of solitary time which equals writing time. My goal is to bang out 10,000 words this weekend. Think I can do it? Perhaps. I’m at 16,995 at this very second. Impressed? Me too!! Plus I got a really fun idea for a new book today. I need to write down all the specifics before I forget. It got me so excited that I wanted to write it NOW! But, then saner minds prevailed and I remembered that I’m already elbows deep in a manuscript that I MUST finish. And send out. And publish. Followed by the rewriting of the 3 subsequent novels which will also be sent. And published. And then, my friend, I will write you that fifth book, you know the one I sent you the intro for? If I make it that far with this series, I will dedicate that fifth book to my wonderfully glorious friend Megatron. We’ll be famous by this point, so no one will find it strange. Megatron and Gandalf will be household names…er…well, you get the idea. 😉 And THEN, when I have accomplished all these things, I will write that new idea book. I figure this will be possible by August. Haha…just kidding. But I am going to figure out a timeline and stick to it like flies on poop. I gotta crack down while it’s the off season. Before I know it I’ll be running around like a crazy person because it’ll be winterguard season again.

I feel like I should thank you. This joint blog thing was a fantastic idea. You’ve motivated me quite a bit and I hope I’ve done the same for you. Whenever I feel like giving up/quitting/being stupidly lazy, I remember that there is someone out there who’s rooting for me. Aww shucks…I appreciate it. Yes, I really said that. Don’t judge me. I’m a sentimental wizard.

I know both our lives are busy right now and that sucks when our chats are so epic. It makes me feel like I need to get a joint blog with all my friends, if only to keep up with them.

Well, duty calls. I look forward to chatting with you soon. (And texting you when I get that amazing confirmation email that Gandalf will be a published author.)

Much love,

GANDALF

 

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MEGATRON BEARS GIFTS

Dear Gandalf,

I’m glad you announced your big move. I have been so proud of you these last few weeks. I’m surprised that we are both on such a roll. The critique group got The Plastic Divide yesterday. I hit the hard question: if you bought this for $.99 would you be satisfied with your purchase? I know I want to publish this within the month. I’ve learned how to format and already made the cover art. I just want to get it to an acceptable level. But I’m not going to dwell on it. I’m going to polish it to the point where I’m satisfied, release it, and on to the next.

I don’t have high aspirations for this piece. The market is set against me, considering it is a short story and I’m a new author. But I’ve been so sick of people off the internet wanting to read my fiction, and having nothing to offer them. The Plastic Divide is me, proving to myself that I can publish something. It’s time to break the ice and have those stories pour out.

Also, I come bearing gifts from dear RLL:

DARTH SINISTER PAINTS IT BLACK.

Wicked self-publisher Darth Sinister has returned to his repainted DEATH STAR, in preparation for the release of yet another Twisted Lifestyle Guide.

Throwing the rulebook out and deciding there can be as many Darths as space allows, Darth Sinister confers with his equally Darthtastic e-pubbing colleagues. First to arrive at a decidedly chilly pre-planetary-devastation cocktail party is nefarious self-publisher Darth Woodward…

DARTH SINISTER: You have done well, Darth Woodward. Now I sense you wish to continue your quest, to e-publish the rest of your trilogy.

DARTH WOODWARD: There’ll be nothing to stop us, this time.

DARTH SINISTER: Send your stories to the far side of Amazon. There you will encounter the fleet of indie readers.

DARTH WOODWARD: They will come to me?

DARTH SINISTER: I have foreseen it. Everything is proceeding as planned.

DARTH WOODWARD: Leaving time in which to make some popcorn, then. Goody. Ah, I mean. With pleasure.

DARTH SINISTER: You have been well-trained, my young apprentice. The critics will be no match for you.

DARTH WOODWARD: Gosh.

DARTH SINISTER: Rise, Darth Woodward. Deep-fried Ewok? I will MAKE it legal.

DARTH WOODWARD: What of the critics massing against the prospect of all that deep-fried Ewok?

DARTH SINISTER: There aren’t any.

DARTH WOODWARD: I sensed…at least six.

DARTH SINISTER: Diehard fans of Ewok movies. Which, incidentally, I have never seen. Wipe them out…some of them.

MOFF LARKIN: My Lord, Darth Biozarre’s shuttle has crash-landed in bay 1138. The Wookie pilot is being brought here for questioning.

DARTH WOODWARD: Aren’t you that moody poet, from Hull?

MOFF LARKIN: From Coventry, originally. No one is from Hull. All poets are moody. Except Pam Ayres. She fakes moodiness. Google her.

DARTH WOODWARD: I’ll be over here, making popcorn. With my lightsa…too much information.

MOFF LARKIN: Darth Biozarre and Wookie companion, my Lord.

DARTH SINISTER: Leave us.

DARTH BIOZARRE: Dude, I know we’re evil. But, did you have to respray the DEATH STAR black? Really…

NOISES OFF: (Bzhwwzumm, zhwum, bzzz jzh-zjzh pop pop pop pop pop!)

PISSED-OFF WOOKIE: Where the £&%! are MY subtitles? I’m walking off this gig. Jabba the £&%! gets subtitles. The £&%!*$ doesn’t even pay tax. Off-planet accounts on Cloud City, my arse.

DARTH SINISTER: What is it?

DARTH BIOZARRE: Young Vanderkarr has been sighted eyeing-up the scattered asteroid fields of the paper publishing belt.

DARTH SINISTER: That’s a bold move for her. Young Adult fiction hasn’t quite seen the same crashing slump in paper sales as in other sectors – though that will change with time. She could annoy us.

DARTH BIOZARRE: Darth Sinister, she’s just a girl. Old Fogey can no longer help her. If Young Vanderkarr could be turned to the Dark Side of publishing, she would be a powerful ally.

DARTH SINISTER: Yes. Young Vanderkarr would, indeed, be a great asset to e-pubbing. Though I must not ask if it can be done. Should it be done? There is a danger in those joining us bitching and moaning about their lot…

PISSED-OFF WOOKIE: What the £&%! was that about?! You won’t give me subtitles but you’ll £&%!+”@ bleep me?! I’m not Artoo £&%!+”@ Detour.

DARTH WOODWARD: Are you setting up a lame pun based on a detour?

PISSED-OFF WOOKIE: Not for what they’re paying me. I’m going back to porn.

DARTH WOODWARD: Consuming, or starring in?

PISSED-OFF WOOKIE: I’ll be staring in. And starring in.

DARTH WOODWARD: Don’t think I’ve ever seen Wookie porn…I’ve heard of Wookey Hole. Is that…

PISSED-OFF WOOKIE: One of my bestsellers? No, it’s a geological formation in the Mendip System.

DARTH SINISTER: Having trouble with your Wookie?

DARTH BIOZARRE: Ah, he brought some droid. It’s a poor excuse for setting up a lame pun involving a detour. There’s a sponsored message. A few public service announcements. And a travelogue. I slept through the Wookie porn.

DARTH WOODWARD: Consuming, or starring in? Too much information.

DARTH BIOZARRE: Here’s the droid. The pun is beneath me.

ARTOO DETOUR: BEEPS AT LENGTH, LEADING TO LOSS OF POORLY-ARRANGED PUN.

DARTH BIOZARRE: Did you have to say that?

ARTOO DETOUR: PRETTY MUCH. THE BLEEPING BUDGET WAS ALLOCATED TO THE WOOKIE. HERE’S THE NUMBER TO CALL. UNACCOUNTABLY, IT STARTS 555. EVEN THOUGH I KNOW WE’RE NOT IN A MOVIE…

DARTH SINISTER: It’s ringing.

YOUNG VANDERKARR: Is this the self-publishing self-help line?

DARTH SINISTER: Take your literary place at my side. It is your e-pubbing Destiny.

YOUNG VANDERKARR: Er, I think I’ve swallowed some publishing blocks and…overdosed. But I fear the cure is worse than the disease! My stories are – gulp – unpublishable.

DARTH SINISTER: I will send my apprentice, Darth Biozarre. She will fix your broken stories.

DARTH BIOZARRE: Young Vanderkarr will come to understand the true nature of the Dark Side. This involves painting everything black, apparently.

DARTH SINISTER: Darth Biozarre, be mindful. Only together can we hope to turn young Vanderkarr to the Dark Side of publishing.

DARTH BIOZARRE: As you wish.

DARTH SINISTER: I hadn’t expressed a request.

DARTH BIOZARRE: Dude, I’m in the middle of unfollowing an entire army of Twitterbots.

YOUNG VANDERKARR: This is all turning quite scary. And a bit Darth-heavy, if you don’t mind my saying.

DARTH SINISTER: What publishing blocks have you swallowed, young Vanderkarr?

YOUNG VANDERKARR: I believe that my stories aren’t good enough to be published unless an agent tells me that they are good enough. Consequently, there are consequences. I could improve that last sentence. If only I had the confidence…

DARTH SINISTER: Is it also true to suppose that your stories aren’t really bad unless people tell you that they are bad?

YOUNG VANDERKARR: Uh? Wha? I, er. They are bad, because they aren’t any good. Or so I haven’t been told. Er…

DARTH BIOZARRE: Calm down. We’re not telling you that a paper publishing deal is a bad thing.

DARTH SINISTER: I wonder if your feelings are CLEAR on this matter, Darth Biozarre…

DARTH BIOZARRE: There is no conflict. Well, some conflict. That’s inevitable.

DARTH WOODWARD: Paper publishing companies aren’t evil in and of themselves. Er, going back to popcorn now.

NOISES OFF: (Bzh-t-t-t-t-t-t-t pop pop pop pop…)

YOUNG VANDERKARR: I just don’t think I’m ready to ever be ready for any kind of publishing deal. Ever. Certainly not a deal that involves electronic publishing and becoming, gasp, Darth Vanderkarr. What’s a girl to do? Let’s crank this up a bit, so I can appear as a hologram…

DARTH WOODWARD: Just CONTROL + ALT + DELETE your droid, and press the red button marked 10. Obscure sci-fi ref. Whoops.

YOUNG VANDERKARR: Hi there.

DARTH BIOZARRE: Wearing a fair bit of black today, for someone who feels too goody-goody to stray on over to e-publishing.

YOUNG VANDERKARR: This is just an old robe…not like it’s a cowl or a cape or anything.

DARTH WOODWARD: No capes, dahling! Er, I’ll just be over here.

DARTH BIOZARRE: Black nail-varnish, young Vanderkarr. Methinks the Darth doth protest too much.

YOUNG VANDERKARR: Casual fashion-statement. Don’t read too much into that. I was spoi…stuck…for choice.

DARTH SINISTER: Perhaps better to say, don’t p-read too much. E-read, you know it is your Destiny.

YOUNG VANDERKARR: That’s too much tech for the lowly scribbler in me. I feel more comfortable with…

DARTH SINISTER: Ah yes. The Typesabre. Weapon of an author. Much like your father’s.

YOUNG VANDERKARR: I’m tilting toward the ergonomic keyboard…

DARTH BIOZARRE: Just for the record, I’m not your dad. Not even in some twisted time travel sex-change artificial insemination weird shit second sex-change weird shit more time travel kinda way.

YOUNG VANDERKARR: Thanks for that. And if there’s an unknown twin brother out there, one I accidentally kissed a few times at a wild party, no need to call in. I’m happy living without that trauma in the background.

DARTH BIOZARRE: It’s legal in those Southern star systems.

DARTH WOODWARD: Deep-fried Ewok, anyone? I haven’t fried any. Just…taking orders. Would prefer not to. We could stick with…popcorn. It’s…Mild Mint Bubblegum.

YOUNG VANDERKARR: You seem awfully nice, for a Darth.

DARTH WOODWARD: I’m a Canadian Darth. We’re…polite as all hell when slicing you up with swords made from buzzy light.

DARTH SINISTER: Join us, Young Vanderkarr. Embrace e-publishing. Listen to Darth Biozarre…

DARTH BIOZARRE: By now you must know that the Old Order kept authors in subjugation.

YOUNG VANDERKARR: No! It’s not true! Well, with a limited time-window and a “shed” load of product to shift, the business-model employed by publishers of romantic fiction tended to generate galley-slaves all pulling at the oars to get the next torrid volume to readers…but…

DARTH BIOZARRE: Join me, and I will complete your training. It is folly to resist.

YOUNG VANDERKARR: I’ll never join you. Nice use of folly, BTW.

DARTH BIOZARRE: Obi-Wan Old Fogey never told you what happened to your father.

YOUNG VANDERKARR: My dad never fought in the Print Wars.

DARTH BIOZARRE: Again, I’m not your dad.

YOUNG VANDERKARR: Pending the DNA Test. Potential freaky sex-change time traveller.

DARTH BIOZARRE: That’s sex-change, sex-change back. If you will not join me, then you will face your Destiny!

YOUNG VANDERKARR: But if I do join you, won’t I face my Destiny anyway? In the wider sense…

DARTH BIOZARRE: Well, in the narrow sense, you’d face a different Destiny. Though that would still be a Destiny, of sorts.

YOUNG VANDERKARR: But you could seek out a paper publisher yourself.

DARTH BIOZARRE: It’s too late for me. Darth Sinister once thought as you do. That was in the Old Republic. When paper publishing was the only game in town, and all forms of self-publishing were mocked as though akin to sexually-transmitted diseases. The oogly ones. With green stuff…

YOUNG VANDERKARR: Yes, yes. Too much information. But…just because publishing changed. That doesn’t mean. We have to turn our backs on the old ways. I still cling to the need to hold a paper book in my hands, for crying out loud!

DARTH SINISTER: Oh, I’m afraid the Kindle reader will be QUITE OPERATIONAL by the time your paperback books ARRIVE.

DARTH BIOZARRE: Join us. Together we will rule the publishing world. From our repainted DEATH STAR.

DARTH WOODWARD: Ooh, we could paint it RED. Who would mess with a scarlet DEATH STAR? Hmm, I feel a song coming on…perhaps not.

YOUNG VANDERKARR: Too many Darths in this kitchen. Though I would look stylish in black, with a red lightsab, aherm, koff koff, is that the time? I should be going.

DARTH BIOZARRE: Don’t underestimate the POWER of underestimation.

YOUNG VANDERKARR: Okay.

DARTH BIOZARRE: You just did.

YOUNG VANDERKARR: I knew that. Darn. Well I’m just a hologram, so, I’ll be going.

DARTH SINISTER: Think it over.

YOUNG VANDERKARR: I’m afraid to think it over.

DARTH SINISTER: Turn your fear to your advantage. Fear is a powerful ally. You must come to fear NOT publishing, rather than publishing.

YOUNG VANDERKARR: No! Help! Where’s the off-switch…

DARTH BIOZARRE: There is NO off-switch. Search your feelings. You know it to be true. The fear of NOT publishing is more powerful, more seductive, than fear of publishing could ever be. Mark well Darth Sinister’s words.

YOUNG VANDERKARR: It can’t be true.

DARTH BIOZARRE: Still not your dad.

DARTH SINISTER: The most important thing about advice is that you aren’t required to like it. Format your work for Kindle, Kacey. Become your own publisher. Kill any fear you have. Rein in emotional responses and think hard about your plans. Do what I did, and what I continue to do. Self-publish.

And don’t just self-promote – help other writers. That’s what I’m doing right now. When will your work be ready? When it is finished. Publish. Right. I’ve done my bit, trying to help other writers. If anything I’ve written here seems to be a hindrance to you, ignore it. Just don’t ignore the previous sentence.

YOUNG VANDERKARR: There’s something awfully familiar about that speech…you weren’t RLL before you turned into Darth Sinister…

DARTH BIOZARRE: Oh, you are so busted. I knew painting the DEATH STAR black was a bad idea. Total giveaway.

DARTH SINISTER: The only way out is to wake up and realise this was all a symbolic dream.

DARTH WOODWARD: Goodbye, Kacey. Don’t eat the Ewoks. That wasn’t a Wookie porn reference.

YOUNG VANDERKARR: And then I woke up. With new plans…

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GANDALF’S ANNOUNCEMENT

Megatron-

I must say, we have had an eventful couple of weeks. Sadly, our followers aren’t privy to the deep, inner workings of our text messages and emails. Decisions have been made, writing has been done, editing has commenced.

Gandalf has an announcement, dear Megatron. As of this morning, Gandalf has submitted Antithesis for publication. Of course, this doesn’t mean that it will happen, but in Gandalf’s wizardly writing world, this is a giant leap in the right direction. I have been working steadily on proofreading Antithesis so when they request the manuscript, it will indeed be as polished as I can make it. Now I know that I originally said I was going to submit Stepping Stones first, but upon further review, I’m still not entirely pleased with it. The story is good, the writing is…okay. So I’m sticking with my original plan to rewrite the Stepping Stone series to my heart’s content. And I figured, since Gandalf has this amazing manuscript waiting in the wings, why not just submit that instead?

Hence! Antithesis is out there. Cue the band.

I feel pretty good about this decision. I’m not really freaking out too much, I think I’m more in the relief stage that I’ve finally accomplished something. I have a complete manuscript, one that’s ready for publication. How many writers can say that? We’ve come a long way, my dear friend. (RLL will be so proud.)

Alas, Megatron, my work load is large and I must get to it.

GANDALF

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GANDALF GETS ON THE TRAIN

Dearest Megatron,

Allow Gandalf to give you a play-by-play of her week.

  • Monday: Fantastic. Had practice with my childrens. There’s only 2 weeks and 4 practices left until states. I can’t believe how fast this season has gone! I sold a sign on Etsy. I’m always amazed at how many of those things I sell.
  • Tuesday: I dropped my Droid in the toilet and fished it out. My hubby is a plumber, he says most people flush. Now tell me, why the heck would you try to flush your cell down the toilet? That’s just crazy! Thank goodness I have insurance. $100 later, I have a new Droid.
  • Wednesday: Nothing exciting happened except my new phone came.
  • Thursday: Went to guard practice, only to be told that practice is cancelled due to parent teacher conferences. Wouldn’t been nice to know ahead of time, eh? Oh, but we called you and left a voicemail on Tuesday. Awesome!! My phone was swimming with the fishes…er, turds. (Haha just kidding. I hadn’t actuallyused the toilet when it fell in thank goodness. That’d just be sick.)
  • Friday aka TODAY: Got an email from someone I haven’t heard from in a while. She’s a friend of my sisters and a writer. Sometime ago she read my manuscript Stepping Stones and encouraged me to publish it. Well, we all know Gandalf and how terrified she is of everything publishing related. Of course I ignored her advice and did nothing with Stepping Stones, unless you count how I convinced myself it sucked and wasn’t worthy of anyone’s eyes. So she asks me if I’ve published it yet because she knows a publisher that might be interested. Oh, and btw, she’s an editor for said company. (Pan to Gandalf, doing happy dance.) This is the part that has me all fired up: She’s already read my manuscript and she STILL wants me to submit it. So maybe (just maybe) it doesn’t suck as much as I think? Maybe I just have that artist brain that hates everything I create? Maybe I’m just crazy? (Okay, not maybe. We all know I’ve gone off the deep end.)

So A B and C have led Gandalf to the decision to submit to this publishing company. Drum roll please–it’s an e-pub company. I know, I know. Everyone is so THRILLED I’ve finally gotten with the times. But! Wait! They also offer legacy publishing too, in addition to the e-pubbing. And you aren’t contractually obligated to stick with them for subsequent books if you don’t wanna.

Gandalf is excited.

So now I’m off to edit and panic, though apparently no panicking is necessary. I mean, does she KNOW me? I’m terrified, but I’m gonna get through this. Oh man…now that song is stuck in my head.

GANDALF OUT

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MEGATRON FRETS

Hey Gandalf,

It feels like it’s been ages. I’m bummed to realize we both currently suck on the writing front. We really need to get on it. But I’m satisfied with the 900 words or so I wrote yesterday—a pittance, but it is at least moving in the right direction. As you may have probably noticed, I’ve revamped biozarre.com and also started the “for writers” blog that will only be updated when I have something of value to share to our brethren.

I felt guilty because I’ve been updating almost every day and doing all the website/graphic stuff while the stranger diaries lay abandoned in the attic. I had to wipe off the dust and cobwebs to even get here. We’ve talked on facebook about my very strange motivational issues. And yes they are so dumb, but that doesn’t change the fact that I feel them.

I’ve been doing some soul searching. Writing Beastling feels so impossible right now; I have all these grand plans, but the way it’s heading… it’s going to be some epic that I will never finish. I guess I’m just easily overwhelmed. This pains me to say, because I used to think I was so good with stress and handling my shit. I’ve come to know myself since then. Or maybe I’m just a different person all together.

I’m tired of bloggers wanting to feature me and then having to explain that I’m not officially an author. And I’m sick of telling interested parties, “I’m sorry, you can’t find my books anywhere because I haven’t actually published anything yet.”

What is all this platform stuff for if I don’t have a product to offer? I started writing a short story (pantser style), but it is quickly morphing into a novella via my obsessive plotting tendencies. And that defeats the purpose of starting small doesn’t it?

Aside from the writing, I’m worried about all the formatting stuff. Something I can’t afford and will have to learn myself. Along with making the cover art. I guess I just want a practice run before my baby arrives. The strange thing is I’m not worried about the writing. I don’t have doubts in my writing—it’s my ability to make a quality package that worries me. My hope is once I know how to do it, I’ll feel confidence in producing my own ebooks. Hopefully I can start a snowball effect. Starting it will be the hardest part. Please let it be the hardest part!

I’m thinking I just have to bite the bullet and do it.

—MEGATRON

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GANDALF TALKS HOOKERS

Dead Megatron, (upon my review of this post, I realized I typed Dead Megatron. I was going to fix it, but then I considered the fact that you did indeed die in the last movie. So, since it’s correct, it’s staying.)

I actually got out of work before 3 a.m. on a Friday evening. I came home and sat in my kitchen (in my stylist’s chair, because Gandalf used to be a hair stylist) and wondered what the heck I was going to do with myself. The little one is at my parent’s house and the hubby is at work. The house is silent unless you count Frodo, Minga, and Bond, my three cats, or Abby and Jethro, my bearded dragons, though they don’t make much noise. I didn’t even bother to turn on the lights. No big surprise there, Gandalf is used to working in the dark. No, not because I’m a hooker, because I do ultrasounds.

Anyways– I got home and was all forlorn and sad-like, until BEHOLD! I have a message from Megatron. Oh WONDERS! Gandalf is happy. Life is good, my friend. My elliptical came in today. I just need to pick it up from Sears. By tomorrow evening I shall be an exercise machine owning wizard. (Hopefully I’ll be able to figure out how to put it together since I couldn’t see paying $100 just for someone to set it up!)

I’m glad to hear that your life is headed in a direction you are satisfied with. Seems you are conquering the television monster. Me, I’m pretty much the same as always. The realization hit me the other day, there are only 4 weeks left of winterguard season. Soon I will be saying farewell to my students for 6 months. This makes me sad as they have come a long way, but there’s also a little happy flutter in my heart, too. When I’m not flagging it up, I have more time to write. And this makes Gandalf extremely happy. Editing is coming along. Have you had a chance to read the new chapter? Have a go at it, I think it’s only a tiny 8 pages or so. I haven’t reached it yet in my editing endeavors, so I can’t say how well it flows, but I liked it well enough when I wrote it. Soon enough I’ll be finished with the edits. And then what? I have a couple of people read it for errors? I finish my query? I don’t know! I don’t know! Will it ever be ready? I don’t know!

Can you hear the panic in my voice…er…typing?

This brings me back to RLL. I feel he probably thinks I’ve neglected him as well. I haven’t had a day to devote to working on posting his email. He’s also offered me/us a spot as a guest blogger. I think this is a spectacular idea…now if I only had something important to say. I’m going to have to think on it. There’s got to be something amazing in that old brain of mine.

Well my lovely Megatron, I am off to work on some writing/editing/facebooking. I do hope you’ll join me on facebook for a chat tonight. It’s been far too long.

Yours,

Gandalf

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MEGATRON FORGOT A TITLE

Dear Gandalf,

I received my new computer today. I feel inspired to write something on it. So I decided to write to you. I’ve been very busy lately–mostly just keeping myself entertained so I don’t watch TV. One would expect me to actually be on the computer more, but that hasn’t been the case. I’ve been out gallivanting, living it up (alcohol free, I suppose I must add since most newly minted 21 year olds go off stark raving mad with the bottle). I’ve been working and schooling and socializing and writing and exercising, and nutritionalizing myself. In other words, life has been good, despite the bouts of depression. But I see those baddies shrinking too! Did you get the email from our dear RLL? He must think I am woefully inept at replying to emails. Because I am. If you are reading this, RLL, I want to thank you for putting a link to our sites on yours. I’m honored that you would consider me worthy. I suppose you could pick the astronaut picture on my “About Missy” page. I’m pretty sure I own the copyright since I made it on tinypic.com. One would expect they would forgo any type of ownership of the scores of pictures being edited on that site.

Anyway, I’ve lost my train of thought. I think I was going to say I miss Gandalf dearly. Yeah, let’s go with that. I miss my little wizard. I do hope we can talk on facebook soon. We had a brief moment, but apparently we are doomed to miss each other by a hair. I hope you are doing well.

–MEGATRON

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GANDALF WHINES A LITTLE

Mighty Megatron,

What’s this? A new computer? Gandalf is giddy with excitement! New computers are amazing! And wait..what…book covers? You have been thinking about what we talked about.  🙂 I must say that we have both been exceptionally busy of late and have had very little time to converse. Editing is slow going, as is my current WIP. I feel like all I’ve done lately is work, work, work! But the unheard of has happened:  I have 3 days in a row OFF!! Oh my gosh. I know. I can’t believe it either. I think I’m going to ask my hubby to take me out. Maybe we’ll see a movie. Maybe we’ll do something other than WORK!

Ah. The possibilities.

In reference to your latest post, of course I am the best. I’m Gandalf. And you’re welcome. I’m happy to hear that you had an awesome birthday.

I wish I had more time to edit. Or rather, I wish that I made more time to edit. I want the editing to be done. I want the query writing to be done. I want the queries to be out to agents and I want to be in the waiting period, because at least it will mean that I’m one step further than I’ve ever been before. I’m thinking of getting The Writer’s Market online so I can track my queries and have access to all sorts of fun agent information like what they require for submission and whether or not they are currently accepting queries. Seems like a handy tool to have around.

But first! Must finish editing and query writing.

Sigh.

I’m easily frustrated if I’m not in a constant state of forward motion. And editing is so slow going. I hope I at least feel accomplished when I’ve finished the edits… or something. Or maybe confident. I just want to feel that I’ve done a good job. I’m really beginning to see what RLL means about all my fear coming out in my writing. He’s so right. I want someone to tell me “good job”. It’s not enough that I’ve finished something. Hm. I’ll work on that.

Well, dear Megatron. I must be off for the evening. I look forward to chatting with you soon.

GANDALF

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MEGATRON THINKS GANDALF IS THE BEST

In case any of you missed it, Gandalf bought me a very classy cake. Nothing is better than seeing oneself fighting Optimus Prime on a delectable pastry treat.  For my 21st birthday I decided to NOT drink. I thought it would be funny to quit drinking before I turned 21. Not that I have a problem with it. I rarely drank as it was. I’m sure it won’t last long. My dad will probably peer pressure me into getting a drink at our birthday dinner tonight. Yes, our birthdays are 48 hours apart. And then there’s Valentine’s Day. I’m just glad I’m not a Christmas baby.

                Anywho, I’m really excited because I’ve been scrimping and saving for a long while now. With the addition of lovely birthday money I can get a computer of my very own! One in which I can have photoshop AND internet in the very same device. I bid adieu to my overtaxed flashdrive. I feel like I’m really going to get back into graphics now. Maybe I will learn to do hyper realism so I can make my own book covers. Ohhh how exciting! With quitting TV I’m in need of a fun habit to pick back up.

                I just hope I haven’t lost my skill! But I shall climb that mountain when I get to it. Maybe I will design my own website dedicated to computer graphics… or maybe I could—okay getting ahead of myself. How have you been dear, Gandalf? Have you decided on a query letter yet?

—MEGATRON

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY MEGATRON

Dear Megatron,

First off, I would like to wish you a Happy, Happy Birthday! I got you this cake.

I even went to a party this morning in your honor. Actually, it was a Valentine’s party at my son’s school, but I thought of you whilst there. Which leads me to my second point:

The year so far has been quite eventful, I feel. I’ve received word from our dear friend RLL. I’m assuming you’ve received similar notice. Very soon we shall chat about how we will proceed with said email.

Have a fantastic day, Megatron. Have a few for me as I will be at work.

 

Yours,

GANDALF