It feels like it’s been ages. I’m bummed to realize we both currently suck on the writing front. We really need to get on it. But I’m satisfied with the 900 words or so I wrote yesterday—a pittance, but it is at least moving in the right direction. As you may have probably noticed, I’ve revamped biozarre.com and also started the “for writers” blog that will only be updated when I have something of value to share to our brethren.
I felt guilty because I’ve been updating almost every day and doing all the website/graphic stuff while the stranger diaries lay abandoned in the attic. I had to wipe off the dust and cobwebs to even get here. We’ve talked on facebook about my very strange motivational issues. And yes they are so dumb, but that doesn’t change the fact that I feel them.
I’ve been doing some soul searching. Writing Beastling feels so impossible right now; I have all these grand plans, but the way it’s heading… it’s going to be some epic that I will never finish. I guess I’m just easily overwhelmed. This pains me to say, because I used to think I was so good with stress and handling my shit. I’ve come to know myself since then. Or maybe I’m just a different person all together.
I’m tired of bloggers wanting to feature me and then having to explain that I’m not officially an author. And I’m sick of telling interested parties, “I’m sorry, you can’t find my books anywhere because I haven’t actually published anything yet.”
What is all this platform stuff for if I don’t have a product to offer? I started writing a short story (pantser style), but it is quickly morphing into a novella via my obsessive plotting tendencies. And that defeats the purpose of starting small doesn’t it?
Aside from the writing, I’m worried about all the formatting stuff. Something I can’t afford and will have to learn myself. Along with making the cover art. I guess I just want a practice run before my baby arrives. The strange thing is I’m not worried about the writing. I don’t have doubts in my writing—it’s my ability to make a quality package that worries me. My hope is once I know how to do it, I’ll feel confidence in producing my own ebooks. Hopefully I can start a snowball effect. Starting it will be the hardest part. Please let it be the hardest part!
I’m thinking I just have to bite the bullet and do it.