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MEGATRON TRAUMATIZES MEN EVERYWHERE

Greyish Gandalf,

I relish in knowing you have succeeded in pushing past your creative block. Luckily it didn’t last so long, eh? I watched Glee Season 1 in one go, off of Netflix last year. The next day, I felt great shame and vowed never to watch Glee again. But the companion reality show, where there is a competition to see who stars in how ever many episodes for the upcoming season is, well let’s just say that’s not off limits.

Sometimes I wonder if my life would be better off with caffeine in it. I’ve never been a coffee or soda drinker. I loathe energy drinks with a passion, yet I am always fatigued and tired. Perhaps I shall give in to my dark nature and indulge.

But alas, I prefer to do things the hard way. Like having more energy by being active, disgusting isn’t it? Or eating an apple, God forbid. I’d rather languish in my own tired puddle than drink carbonation. Us writers, always rolling around in our misery, clutching it to our chests like a childhood blanket.

Despite my robotic stature, I am indeed a hobbit to you. I believe we are a 12 inch difference in height. And believe me, you, staring up one’s noses on a regular basis is no party either. The only upside of such stature is being able to hide in small places. But you, you my dear Gandalf, don’t have to climb on the counter to reach the high cabinets.

As for the skype-ified hockey game you speak of? I don’t think our friendship could handle it. Blood steams long and hard when shed on the ice.

On the news front, I have purchased my very own URL for my website: biozarre.com

It is strange, how excited and accomplished one can feel for the price of $17. Though it is a feat anyone can accomplish, it made me feel official in a smug, unattractive way. And then I got over it. That’s the thing with depression. It’s so hard to hold on to a high. I sent you a message on facebook with multiple exclamations points—as such was my joy. Five minutes later, the same statement was graced with a lackluster period. Speaking of which, have you read my latest blog on BIOZARRE.COM? You might find that one of the bold words is quite fitting. Though for that post, viewer discretion is advised.

I used psychological reactance to trick hordes of men into reading it. I thought it was hilarious.

 

—MEGATRON

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One comment on “MEGATRON TRAUMATIZES MEN EVERYWHERE

  1. If only the click would have emitted mustard gas, the third stage of your master plan would be well under way. Pity the limits of technology.
    Red.

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